The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Randomize
