i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
