My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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