My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
