I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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