So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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