hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
