Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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