you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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