the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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