Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize