so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
How naked do you want me to be?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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