I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
