What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
