he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
