Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I want her autograph on my taint
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
