My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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