Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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