We won't sleep together?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I could have mohawked her pubes.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I'm always down for nudity.
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