hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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