Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Just cropdusted the office
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
