: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
