if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
