I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
