I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Randomize
