Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize