Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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