If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
