Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
is it fun? or sober?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
