I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
We're too hungover to prance.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
