i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
