I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
