but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
