Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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