just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Randomize
