he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
