He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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