Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
