he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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