mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
