it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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