do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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