I wish I could teleport
and you said cock pushups were impossible
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
