So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
