Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize