I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I don't deserve a penis
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
