and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
