So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
