i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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