It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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