I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
