So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
