I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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