She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
