if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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