Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
