I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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