You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Randomize
