so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
